Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Anger

I. Definition of Anger
A. Disposition of the mind that entertains antagonism towards another individual, manifesting itself in various actions. (Matt. 5:21-22; Gen. 4:1-8)

II. God’s Perspective on Anger
A. Anger is an attitude resulting in action
(Prov. 14:17,29,15:18,16:32,19:19,22:24-25,)

III. Man’s Perspective on Anger
A. Anger is an emotion that is neutral

IV. Types of Anger
A. Godly - To be troubled or disgusted in attitude or action as a result of someone disgracing God or disregarding His Holy Laws (John 2:12-17; Epheisans 4:26-27, Mark 3:5,10:4,Matthew 23, Exodus 32:19,Jeremiah 15:17, Nehemiah 5:6, 2Kings 13:19)
B. Worldly- Negative attitude or action as a result of some need, desire, or standard not being met or being offended by someone (I Samuel 18:6-8, 20:24-34; James 4:1-2;Acts 7:54, Ephesians 4:31-32, Numbers 20:1-13,)

V. Issues that lead to Worldly Anger
A. Misplaced Dependency (depend on people, place, things, or events to provide what only God provides) (I John 2:15-17, Jeremiah 17:5-6)
B. Unrealistic Expectations (expecting things that are beyond the scope of possibility)
C. Untrained in Handling Disappointments (not accepting the fallibility of people, places, things and events)(Proverbs 13:12, Genesis 4:1-8)
D. Not Accepting powerlessness over people, places, outcomes of events (resisting the fact that you were not designed to control people and outcome of events) (Numbers 20:1-13,Eccl. 9: 1-2; Eccl. 7:13-14)
E. Fear (Proverbs 29:25)
F. Pride (I Sam. 18:6-8)
G. Ignorance to Truth (Proverbs19:2-3)
H. Living by the Flesh (Galatians 5:17, 19-21)
I. Inferiority Complex (consumed with seeing yourself as less than others) (I Sam. 18:6-8)

VI. Reasons Worldly Anger Shows Up (James 4:1-2)
A. Identity attacked or not affirmed
1. Put You Down
2. Does not encourage you
B. Unmet Desires
1. You want something you can’t control getting
Examples:
· To have control
· To be loved
· To be accepted
· To be understood
· To never hurt again
· To be respected
· To be served
· To have your way
· To be viewed as competent
· To be approved of
· To belong to someone
· To be held in high regard
· To maintain a favorable position with people
2. You’re getting something you don’t want and you can’t control it
Examples
· To lack control over people/outcome of events
· To be unloved
· To be rejected
· To be misunderstood
· To be hurt/disappointed
· To be disrespected
· To not be served
· To be denied your way
· To be viewed as incompetent
· To be disapproved of
· To not belong to anyone
· To be held in low regard
· To maintain an unfavorable position
C. Personal Standards not agreed with
1. You want something done or handled your way by others
2. You want life to fit your preference


VII. By-Products of Worldly Anger (Col. 3:8)
A. Bitterness
B. Slander
C. Abusive Speech
D. Wrath
E. Malice

VIII. Wrong ways people deal with anger (James 1:20)
A. Suppress- acting like it does not exist
B. Aggression- openly expressed anger at someone else’s expense
C. Passive Aggressive- indirectly expressed anger at someone else’s expense.

IX. The Right Way to Deal With Anger James 1:19,Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:1-8)
A. Acknowledge your anger
B. Confess the sin of your anger
C. Identify the Issues that lead up to your anger (Refer to V of Outline)
D. Identify reasons why you where angry (Refer to VI of Outline)
E. Identify the specific desires you are demanding to be fulfilled by God, people, places, events and things(Refer to VI of Outline)
F. Accept your inability to control God, people, and the outcome of circumstances
G. Accept these conditions:
1. The Person may be willing and able
2. The Person may be willing and unable
3. The Person may be unwilling and able
4. The Person may be unwilling and unable
5. It may be a desire that was not meant to be satisfied
H. Accept responsibility for your unloving thoughts, words, deeds, in the situation
I. Repent of unloving thoughts, words, deeds in the situation
J. Choose to serve and love others unconditionally
K. Follow the Biblical Mandate according to the relationship (1Cor13:4-7)
1. Husband/Wife (Eph. 5:18-33, Col. 3:18-19, I Peter 3:1-12)
2. Children (Eph. 6:1-2, Col. 3:20)
3. Parent (Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21, Deut. 6:6-9, Prov. 22:6)
4. Friends (Prov. 27:5-6, Prov. 17:17,Prov. 27:9, Prov. 18:24)
5. Others (I Peter 3:8-12, Rom. 12:9-21, Gal. 6:1-10)
6. Leaders (I Tim. 4:16, Heb. 13:7, 17;I Peter 5:5, I Tim. 5:17-22, Luke 6:40)
7. Employer/Employee (Eph. 6:5-9, I Peter 2:18-29)
8. Government (Rom.13:1-2, I Peter 2:13-17)
9. Enemies (Luke 6:27-36)

Information taken from a handout by professor Nicolas Ellen.

Understanding Fear

1. There is a fear for which man is not responsible, but it is a fear which has a definite cause. It is startle or fright, an instantaneous and instinctual response to possible bodily danger. This quickly changes to one of the other fears or resolves to relief. God has built within man a startle or fright response to warn him of possible physical danger. It even appears that this response is an instinctive, knee-jerk reaction which happens in his brain and body an instant before he cognitively assesses his danger. One concludes, therefore, that this kind of fear is physiologically generated in man’s brain and body and is instantaneously prepares him to meet a possible threat to his physical being. Such could be termed a physiological emotion, for its origin is within man’s brain and body. It is the only fear that originates in man’s brain and body. All other fears originate in man’s immaterial heart before then a millisecond later they are experienced in man brain and body. (Ruth 3:8, Luke 24:37)

2. There are fears which are good and right. These fears have discernable causes. These
fears are consistent with loving and trusting God.
a. The fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7)
b. Concern (Galatians 4:11)
c. Respect (Romans 13:7,1Peter 3:2)
d. Caution (Proverbs 14:16)
e. Urgency or Emergency (Nehemiah 2:2-3)
f. Awe (Mark 16:8)

3. There are fears which are wrong. These fears have discernable causes. These fears are
inconsistent with loving and trusting God.
A. Fear of false gods (Jeremiah 10:2-5)
B. Worry or untrusting apprehension (Luke 12:7,32, Philippians 4:6)
C. Timidity or cowardice (2 Timothy 1:7, Joshua 1:9)
D. Uncontrollable fear like panic or some dread (Psalm 48:4-6)
E. Intimidation (Proverbs 29:25)


4. There is only one fear for which there is no discernable cause. It is a fear for which man is responsible, because it results from the sin in his heart. It is the fear of God’s judgment in man’s conscience ever before God begins to move in judgment. It is the apparently uncaused fear seen consistently in the lives of the mentally unsound. This type fear is an indicator that there is a lack of love in our lives that we are not dealing with accordingly. (Genesis 3:10, Proverbs 28:1, 1John 4:18, Leviticus 26:17, 36-37) When one is fraught with excessive fears, he is actually fearing God’s Judgment due to the sin which he is presently entertaining in his heart. Human wisdom claims that when apparently uncaused fear exist is a source of the past. They believe it is a result of unresolved anxiety in childhood or it is past fear which has arisen in response to some present day stress. Human wisdom would claim that it is dormant fear somewhere in the brain and it can mysteriously be activated. However, the scripture makes it clear that apparently uncaused fear is an expression of one’s fear of God’s anticipated judgment due to present, chosen sin which one is personally entertaining in his life. When one experiences apparently uncaused fear it is a sign for them to come to Christ confess and repent to receive forgiveness of present sin.

Information taken from The Heart of Man and The Mental Disorders by Rich Thomson

Key Concepts of Biblical Counseling

1. The Premise of Biblical Counseling

To Help People establish a right relationship with God the Father through our Lord Jesus Christ.
To help people put off particular sins that keep them from loving God and loving others
To help people put on particular patterns of righteousness that produce a love for God and love for others.

2. The process of Change in Biblical Counseling

Confession of sin (1 John 1:9, James 5:16)
Repenting of sin (2 Corinthians 7:10-11, Proverbs 28:13)
Radical amputation of sin (Mathew 5:29-30)
Replacement of sin with right living in that area (Ephesians 4:22-24, Colossians 3:1-7)

3. The Points of change in Biblical Counseling

People will need to change in thoughts, attitudes, motives, desires and theology.
People will need to change in conversations and communication.
People will need to change in behavior and lifestyle.
People will need to change in how they relate to others.
People will need to change in the way they serve God and others.

4. The Parameters of Change in Biblical Counseling

People will need to gain a biblical understanding of God and submit to his will accordingly.
People will need to gain a biblical understanding of themselves and submit to God’s will accordingly.
People will need to gain a biblical understanding of others and submit to God’s will accordingly.
People will need to gain a biblical understanding of life’s situations and circumstances and submit to God’s will accordingly.

5. The Projects of Change in Biblical Counseling

a. Hope Homework – projects, activities and reading assignments given to help people gain a true hope in Christ in accordance to the problems they are facing.
b. Doctrinal Homework – projects, activities and reading assignment s given to help people gain a solid theological understanding of their problems so they can deal with them properly.
c. Awareness Homework – projects, activities and reading assignments given to help people become aware of their own sinfulness in the problem so that they can stop deceiving themselves about the problem they are facing and own up to it accordingly.
d. Action Oriented Homework – projects and activities given to move people into specific obedience towards God and specific expression of love towards others.

6. Principles to apply in Biblical Counseling

a. Submission or Acceptance of who God is
b. Entrusting oneself to God
c. Acceptance of what God allows
d. Thankful for what he has done or is doing
e. Submit to what he says
f. Worship
g. Prayer
h. Using Spiritual Gifts

7. The Personalities encountered in Biblical Counseling

Those who lack Knowledge yet once they receive it are able to work on their problems and honor God.
Those who have knowledge but refuse to apply what they know to work on their problems and honor God.
Those who have knowledge but don’t know how to apply it to their problems and honor God.
Those who lack knowledge and are not interested in getting knowledge to work on their problems and honor God.

Information taken from a handout by Nicolas Ellen

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Below you will find an image of the Biblical Framework for use in counseling to bring a person to healing and restoration with God. This model was taken from Rich Thompson's Book, "The Heart of Man and The Mental Disorders."

Biblical Counseling Framework